My Approach

My training helps meet your specific needs.

I will tailor your treatment according to what you need and where you are.

I have completed a range of courses from The Institute of Francine Shapiro, covering EMDR Basic Training, Attachment Training for EMDR, Complex Trauma for EMDR, and The Therapeutic Relationship with EMDR. I especially enjoyed being part of group consultation to hone my skills when working with complex trauma.

Additionally, I hold a Maternal Mental Health Professional Certificate from PSI and have completed The Gottman Method at Levels 1, 2, and 3.

As an avid reader, I continue to consult with other therapists, take additional training, and learn as much as possible.

I incorporate ideas from Imago Therapy (what some would call Conscious Couples Work), Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) by Dr. Sue Johnson, Attachment Theory, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Janina Fisher (Structural Dissociation), and The Polyvagal Theory.

My Approach is trauma-informed.

The basis of all I do is to offer you a safe place to feel seen and heard and have the power to make choices that work for you. Trauma-informed means I will work with you in a way that honors your choice and autonomy while giving you the power to be in control of your treatment.

I use my expertise to guide you through the healing process, but my stance within the therapy room is as a collaborator – not as THE EXPERT. WHY? The basis of most traumas can often be the loss of control, power, or choice.

This power dynamic can often unknowingly become replicated throughout our medical system, even in therapeutic settings. For example, a doctor’s office assumes you are ok taking your weight and asks you to weigh yourself without knowing that you are in recovery for an eating disorder and without knowing this will do more harm than good for your overall health.

Another example would be a therapist instructing you to close your eyes without checking in to see if that works for you while failing to explain how it might be helpful or even asking if you’d like to close your eyes.

You are the expert on YOU!

I believe that you are the expert of your own life, so that informs our treatment every step of the way. I will do my best to keep you feeling safe and protected within our therapeutic space.

My goal is to offer a place where you feel in charge of your choices and always receive informed consent of the risks and benefits of treatment options provided.

If I ever feel like I make a misstep, I will acknowledge that and repair it with you.

I encourage and model compassion with accountability and attunement throughout our therapeutic relationship.

How can compassion change everything?

“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn, Wherever You Go, There You Are

Trauma survivors, and many humans who don’t identify as having trauma, are often very hard on themselves. We shame ourselves for many “negative” emotions, and we can even shame ourselves for having shame.

So when we learn to have compassion for ourselves, where we are right now, this widens our window of tolerance, or our capacity to handle stress within our body, mind, and spirit. When we learn to befriend ourselves through the polyvagal theory, we know how to reach for the big picture (integrated thinking).

Gaining insight into the big picture is where the magic starts to happen. Long-standing patterns, unhelpful dynamics, and bad habits begin to fall away. Suppose an area of thinking/way of being needs strengthening. In that case, I utilize EMDR techniques to enhance those areas and remove any “blockages” that may prevent you from embodying the person you want to be.

Attunement is recognizing what is happening currently, identifying it, understanding it, and giving yourself or your partner what you need. It’s almost like tuning into your or your partner’s radio station. It’s nearly as simple as a few phrases spoken, heart to heart, with eye contact.

When we learn the fine art of self-attunement, we can more easily attune to our loved ones. It is more challenging when life stressors are in the way, but it gets more accessible and manageable when we practice.

I model this in all my sessions and teach you how to do it yourself.

Let’s look at how attunement works.

A couple is going through a lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication and is on the defensive with each other. An example of practicing attunement might look like this: I, as the therapist, speak for the wife, from her point of view, to her husband in a way in which I think he can receive and in a way that expresses her concerns with love. (The wife would correct anything if it doesn’t fit for her, and then we would practice with the partner.)

It might sound like this: “I know how stressful work has been, and I understand that all these long hours you put in are all for me and our family. I appreciate that. I can also imagine you are getting tired and burned out. I can see it in your eyes.

When you are too tired to connect with me, I feel like a wall exists between us. I start to get anxious. It might look like I’m trying to control you, but I feel alone. I feel disconnected from you. Then, I start managing our lives instead of letting things flow like they used to.

When you are too tired to connect with me, I feel like a wall exists between us. I start to get anxious. It might look like I’m trying to control you, but I feel alone. I feel disconnected from you. Then, I start managing our lives instead of letting things flow like they used to.”

Let’s look at Neuroplasticity and The Polyvagal Theory.

Research tells us our brains can change, no matter how old we are. Isn’t that amazing? A barrier in talk therapy was that it didn’t involve the body, but the issues can become stored in the tissues. There is also more information going from our body up to our brain than from our brain to our body.

I take this into mind and include somatic (body-based) approaches along with EMDR, which provides for addressing blockages in the body (sensations), emotions, and the brain (negative cognitions).

I will teach you about the polyvagal theory and how that can inform us and help us befriend our nervous system. Fun fact: Practicing compassion daily is also a way of befriending your nervous system.